Episode-6: Cutting the Cord

Sisko counted the pairs of knitting needles in their wall hanger three times, moved some baby blue bamboo yarn from the red to the light blue cubby hole, then sat down and dragged a knife across the skin above her knee.

“Mom’s kicking me out,” she said softly into the phone.

“So, you can come stay here. I have plenty of room,” Alice said.

“Everything is in order here. Do you know what it means to move?” she rounded off the ‘P’ just above her knee.

“Sisko, sweet heart, I know, but look, I’ll go with you to Dr. Dresh and we’ll get some meds for the move. They’ll zonk you out and Dad and I will take care of everything.” Sisko was silent. The lower case ‘a’ took some concentration to get right. Blood was dripping down both sides of her leg and onto the plastic sheet under her chair.

“Sisko? Why is Mom kicking you out?”

“She didn’t say.”

“God, I’m coming over tonight. Dad and I will help you plan and organize so you feel better. Everything will be fine.”

“I don’t think it will be.” ‘t’ was easy, but ‘r’ was harder. Sisko wasn’t good at cutting the rounded parts.

“Sisko, you know that the world doesn’t end when you don’t do your rituals. You know it’s all in your head. I wish you would go to therapy.”

“I’m don’t need therapy,” she whispered. ‘i’ with a sloppy flourish for the dot. Sisko heard the doorknob jiggle and she hung up the phone. She knew her Mom had a key. She knew her Mom came in to her room and moved things when she was gone. She didn’t watch the door open, she was concentrating on the ‘c’. She heard her mother walk in, no sharp intake of breath, no surprise. Patricia was never surprised. Sisko’s mind whispered for her to throw the knife. But the name was unfinished. Have to finish the name. Have to finish the name. Can’t leave it unfinished. Like a chant going through her mind. Another ‘i’. Her mother was just watching. Better leave before I finish, Sisko thought.

“At least you didn’t get blood on the carpet,” Patricia leaned over to get a better look, “little sloppy.” Sisko looked up and her mother smiled.

“Please leave.”

“Sisko, you know very well that I do not respond to your silly attention getting schemes. You have two weeks to move out, I really won’t put up with this anymore.” Patricia turned to leave and Sisko sank the knife in her calf. Then she pulled it out, wiped it off on a towel she had next to her, wiped it off with Clorox wipes, and then finished the ‘a’. Her mother’s screams and her father’s footsteps were distant as she put the final up-turn on the final letter in her mother’s name.